Sa Iyo..
1 month ago
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Everybody's Changing But I Don't Feel The Same...
Filed under:
depression,
personal stuff
I LOST...
I feel sad about it.
Help me get over it would you...
And I'll be fine. Definitely.
...
The title is irrelevant to the post. Can't think of a good title for this post and so I just parallelized it to the sound I am listening to while writing this entry. It's a sad sad song...just like what I am feeling now... :(
Twelve Minutes
Eleven minutes and forty-five seconds had passed. It's almost time but there was no sign that it was about to vanish.
------------
"Ang depression o stress daw naglalast lang for 12 minutes then after that, kung depressed ka pa rin, self-induced na yun"
This statement had become an everyday statement of my friends who regarded last week as their hell week, our hell week, in fact every UP student's hell week.
Everyone was stressed. Sleepless and worse, mentally afflicted. And to make it even worst, depression came together with frustration.
I detest it - the feeling that frustration gives. The feeling of having disappointed expectations and thwarted goals. I hate it when you know in yourself you've done your best and then in the end you'll realize that your efforts weren't enough to attain satisfaction.
I intensely hate it when all your mistakes flash through your mind as if telling you that you could have done better and that your inner ego, your self worth, starts to diminish.
It's a nice thing though. I mean when realization takes over, this could make you a better person, or so somehow. Oh well...
Is this the law of equal trade?The law of conservation?That in order for you to gain something, you should give out an equal value.
The Elric brothers once believed in this so called law of equal trade but changes do happen, especially when all your life you lived in innocence then one day you'll find out that you are ignorant and not innocent. Ergo, they were deceived by the law.
And now, I think I'm experiencing the same.
I am now giving myself a warm welcome to life. It's unfair and not every effort you gave in always has an equal trade. And that's a fact and rather not a law.
------------
Twelve minutes had passed. My time was up but the feeling was still persistent. :(
------------
"Ang depression o stress daw naglalast lang for 12 minutes then after that, kung depressed ka pa rin, self-induced na yun"
This statement had become an everyday statement of my friends who regarded last week as their hell week, our hell week, in fact every UP student's hell week.
Everyone was stressed. Sleepless and worse, mentally afflicted. And to make it even worst, depression came together with frustration.
I detest it - the feeling that frustration gives. The feeling of having disappointed expectations and thwarted goals. I hate it when you know in yourself you've done your best and then in the end you'll realize that your efforts weren't enough to attain satisfaction.
I intensely hate it when all your mistakes flash through your mind as if telling you that you could have done better and that your inner ego, your self worth, starts to diminish.
It's a nice thing though. I mean when realization takes over, this could make you a better person, or so somehow. Oh well...
Is this the law of equal trade?The law of conservation?That in order for you to gain something, you should give out an equal value.
The Elric brothers once believed in this so called law of equal trade but changes do happen, especially when all your life you lived in innocence then one day you'll find out that you are ignorant and not innocent. Ergo, they were deceived by the law.
And now, I think I'm experiencing the same.
I am now giving myself a warm welcome to life. It's unfair and not every effort you gave in always has an equal trade. And that's a fact and rather not a law.
------------
Twelve minutes had passed. My time was up but the feeling was still persistent. :(
